Donna

Messy desk? Don’t try to organize, decide what matters

September 18, 2015 by Donna 13 Comments

I know you don’t actually want your desk to be a mess. Who does, really?

You don’t want to be surrounded by piles reminding you of what you haven’t done. And yet, it seems impossible to clear off your desk and keep it that way.

The stuff just keeps coming back.

Maybe it’s the stuff you’re not sure what to do with, or important papers you’re afraid of losing, or stuff you’re still working on—whatever it is, it leaves you thinking “Why waste my time clearing this off? I have other things to do. I never get ahead of this.”

So you keep on keepin’ on.

You don’t like it—but you put up with it because you don’t know what will make a lasting difference. You have other things to do rather than tidying your desk.

But here’s the thing, keeping your desk clear isn’t about finding better ways to organize your stuff—it about deciding what matters to you.

It’s about deciding that you are unwilling to waste your time and energy—your life in effect—tending to things that don’t matter to you.

And most people think that’s what they are doing when they put something in a pile … but it’s not.

You have to deal with those piles sometime

When you put something in a pile, you aren’t declaring that something isn’t important. You’re saying ‘I haven’t decided about this yet so I’ll put it over here and deal with it later.’

I’ll deal with it later. It’s a popular thought—and one that leads to living surrounded by clutter.

Because really that’s all clutter is—something you haven’t made a decision about yet.

It’s deferred decisions, physically piled up around you. And most people recognize that. It’s why they put off dealing with the clutter, because they know they are going to have to make a whole lot of decisions.

Yet, at some point, you will have to deal with that stuff—and until then, you’ve got to put up with the physical mess as well as the distraction of being constantly reminded of these other things you need to deal with.

Life is too precious to waste on what doesn’t matter

As much as we might wish that putting something in a pile doesn’t cost us anything, it does. Every time you remind yourself you need to deal with x, y or z in the pile, or you need to find something in there, or you have a conversation with yourself about whether today’s a good day for sorting through that stuff—you are spending time, energy and attention on it.

And you haven’t yet decided whether it’s important.

It’s just there demanding your most precious resources—time, energy and attention—and yet the fact it has somehow arrived on your desk does not guarantee it’s something that actually matters to you. So before you can be effective at organizing this stuff, first you need to decide if it matters.

Want a more organized desk? Decide what matters

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It sounds simple but this is what changed it for me

I decided that I wouldn’t waste my one life caring for and storing things that didn’t matter to me. Anything that didn’t bring me joy or help me live the life I wanted to live, I decided to remove rather than being responsible for it.

Because every thing you own takes time and energy to look after.

So rather than spend my life tending to things that didn’t matter to me, I chose to get rid of those things that were a burden rather than a source of joy—and spend that time on things that were part of living a full life for me.

And that little decision changed everything.

Now, over a decade later, I can’t say that I’m perfect and that I never have a pile of things on my desk. I wish. There are always things I’m choosing not to handle right this moment, and I’m always experimenting with different ways to deal with the stuff that’s coming in.

The difference now is that it’s a little pile because I decide before putting it down whether it’s important. And I regularly handle the pile because I’m unwilling to waste my energy going in circles about when I’m going to deal with it.

My tolerance for clutter now is virtually non-existent because I see it as an obstacle to what matters most to me.

Every thing is either serving a purpose—or it’s in the way

That shift in perspective changes your relationship with your stuff. All of a sudden clutter goes from being a benign annoyance to something that’s stopping you from devoting yourself to what you actually want.

Instead of asking whether you might need this thing someday or where you should put it, now you’re asking, is it important for me to do or have this? Is this thing helping me to have the life I want?

Every thing is either serving a purpose in your life, or it’s in the way

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Because things that are either important and serving a function (that we care about) in our lives. Or they are junk we can get rid of.

That’s it. That’s what decluttering really is. It’s the process of discerning whether something is important to the life you want to have—or whether it’s junk.

After that, then you can find ways to store the important stuff so that it’s accessible when you need it—and out of the way when you don’t. That’s all organizing is.

But before you can organize, you must decide what deserves to stay, what is worthy of spending your time and energy on.

So today, I’m going to challenge you to name what’s important to you. Where do you most want to spend your time and energy right now? What does living a vibrant life look like for you over the next couple of months?

And if there’s anything in your environment right now that’s getting in the way of that life, get it out of there. Decide to decide—and keep only what matters so you can give your full energy to living the life you want.

How about you?

What really matters to you? And how is that reflected in the things you have around you—or not? I’d love to hear your experience in the comments – click here to tell us what has a place in your life.

What buying the wrong side tables taught me

September 11, 2015 by Donna 7 Comments

Furniture Mistakes

Okay this might sound like a stupid set up. So I bought the wrong side tables? Big deal. It’s not the end of the world. Just take them back and move on.

Well, that’s the thing. It wasn’t a big deal. I made a mistake. I chose something that was the right price and what I thought I was looking for.

But I knew the moment they were in the living room that they were the wrong side tables. The scale was off; they were too big. They just looked wrong.

There was no way to avoid it. I just had to turn to my husband and say, those can’t stay here.

Thankfully he agreed. We sold the tables and got some different ones, the right ones. So even though my initial choice didn’t work, we still got where we were going in the end.

And yet often, I hang back from making a choice because I’m not sure it’s going to be the right one. So instead I make no choice – and keep wanting to make a change but not doing it.

Ever done that?

Sometimes you don’t know something’s not going to work until you do it

As much as we’d like to think otherwise, we’re never actually sure beforehand if something we’re creating is going to spark the joy we’re after. That’s not how the process works.

You have an idea of what you want, how you want it to feel, how you want it to look – and you go for it. Sometimes it falls flat, and sometimes you recoil in horror that your idea went so very wrong.

It’s awful when that happens. It’s embarrassing. It’s uncomfortable and often expensive. But the worst part for me is that it’s so damn disappointing to fall short of the vision I had.

You also don’t know something’s going to be awesome until you do it

The flip side of course is that when you do the thing you’ve been dreaming of, sometimes you find it’s as great as you thought it would be.

But until you take that risk of not realizing your vision, you don’t know that.

You can’t create a home you love, a wardrobe you love, a piece of art or even a business you love. If you won’t buy a new piece, move things around, or ditch the stuff you hate, you’re going to stay in the same environment – not experiencing the delight you’re longing for.

Recently I’ve been holding back until I felt sure

In my desire to have Beautiful Functional fully embody the message I want to share with you – and not have any random stuff cluttering up the corners – I’ve been hanging back from sharing what I want you to know about creating inspiring spaces for your everyday life.

I’ve been over here worried about bringing in the wrong side tables – and not doing what I most want to do, which is help create more beauty, order and simplicity in the world. That stops now.

Because, while the whole idea behind Beautiful Functional is simplify to beautify, that doesn’t mean that we can’t experiment.

So you’ll be seeing some changes around here. You’ll also be hearing more from me about what I’m creating to help you create a space that sings to you every day, reflects who you are and makes it easier to live the life you want to live. Because that’s what I started this for.

And in other areas I’ve been just going for it

So while I have been fretting about making the wrong choices in one room of my life, in another room, I’ve been doing the opposite. At the beginning of July, my family and I boarded a plane from Canada to the UK with our whole life in six suitcases – to pursue our dream of living on this side of the Atlantic.

Because we were never going to know what life would be like for us here without coming. We had to live it to know if it was going to be all that we imagined. There’s just no other way.

There’s nothing for it but to make a move toward what you’ve been dreaming of. Otherwise you’re just hanging out in limbo, dreaming it but not living it.

And ultimately living with the new room is better than putting up with the old one – even if you make a mistake with the side tables.

How about you?

Have you been holding back in making a change – whether in your physical space or the space of your life? What can you do today to start bringing your idea to reality?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments – click here to share where you’re ready to take a bit of a risk.

Why most decluttering advice doesn’t work

August 6, 2014 by Donna 4 Comments

Everywhere I look these days people are talking and writing about getting rid of clutter.

Books, magazines, blogs, even reality tv shows are all trying to help others get out from under their piles of stuff.

But as a decluttering junkie who’s always hoping someone has uncovered the secret for being effortlessly clutter-free, I’m often disappointed by what I hear.

You see, lots of this advice isn’t about decluttering at all — it’s about how to put stuff away so it looks tidier. Which is great, but decluttering is actually about getting rid of unnecessary stuff.

And when they do talk about removing things, these articles make it seem like it’s simply about ditching the stuff you’re not using.

Most decluttering advice doesn’t work because it’s focused on the wrong things.

First and foremost, decluttering is about removing things

There’s no point in trying to contain or organize too much stuff.

It’s a waste of time and energy.

It just blows up into a big mess again quickly. And leaves you feeling like you can never get ahead of it.

So if every time you go to get something, you need to move something else out of the way … you have too much stuff.

But it’s not enough to just get rid of what you don’t — or can’t — use.

Because honestly, you’ll still have too much stuff. (Most people do.)

Decluttering means looking at your stuff from a new perspective

Most people — and most advice — focus on getting rid of what’s broken, worn-out and not being used.

But when we’re clearing out, I ask women to go further.

I tell them to let go of anything they no longer want, need or are willing to look after.

And I give them permission to let go of anything that they don’t love. As well as anything that doesn’t support the life they want to live.

See the difference there?

Decluttering is not just about getting rid of unnecessary things — it’s about connecting with what you want, and making space for it.

So I say ditch the things that aren’t a hell yes.

Because that makes it easier to let go

Most people struggle with clutter because they don’t know how to get rid of things when they think they should keep them.

But when you ask whether these things have a place in the life you want to live and whether you love them, the fog clears.

All of a sudden that shift in perspective frees you to just let it go.

Because you want to.

Or keep it, because you want to.

You’re no longer thrashing around trying to decide.

You recognize that could keep it, but you no longer feel compelled to.

What’s most often overlooked is the fact that getting rid of clutter is about changing how you think about your stuff … and changing your habits.

Recognize this is a process

The whole reality tv thing has people thinking they should be able to clear out their whole house in one fell swoop. But the truth is that doesn’t actually work.

It’s too emotionally taxing for one thing.

And even if you managed it, the stuff would come rushing back in almost immediately because it takes time to adjust.

When you’re used to being surrounded by clutter, you need to get comfortable with having less physical stuff around you.

You also need to develop the habit of making decisions about your stuff … instead of just putting it aside to deal with later.

Most decluttering advice doesn’t work because it doesn’t encourage you to look at your stuff from a different perspective. It doesn’t encourage you to let go of everything that doesn’t light you up rather than put it away neatly in a box somewhere.

Recognize that you’ll never feel like you’re getting ahead of the clutter until you stop shifting it around and tidying it up. Let go of anything that doesn’t feel good to you … so you can make space for what does.

How about you?

What can you get rid of because it no longer has a place in the life you want? What can you get rid of because, frankly, you’re tried of looking after it? I’d love to hear from you in the comments — click here to share what you’re ditching.

Want clutter clearing advice you can actually use?

If you’re ready to shift your perspective on your stuff … and ditch the clutter — click here to be first in line for Making Space. The doors open for registration next week so this is your last chance to get the special Insider price. The clutter busting kicks off this September — see you there!