Ever notice how, before putting their house up for sale, people do a whole bunch of cleaning and fixing to “get the house ready to sell”?

If you’ve ever sold a house, you know that often, after doing all that work, you wonder why you waited so long. The house looks great – and now you’re going to pass it on to someone else.

You were willing to do that work for someone else but not yourself.

I said never again

Remember my nasty kitchen? Well, after living with it for several years, we did the remodel ourselves. We painted the new cabinet doors (with many, many coats – by hand), retiled the backsplash, painted the walls and built a mirrored display shelf. It was a lot of work and it dragged on. But we were delighted with the result.

And then eight months later we sold the place.

I was so annoyed with myself. I did all that work – and only got to enjoy it for a few short months.

I told my husband we were never doing that again.

So now we regularly ask what needs to be done to our home in order to sell it.

And then we do it.

You are worth it

I know house projects cost money. I know you don’t necessarily have the money to do what you want right now.

And I know there are probably a whole bunch of things you’d rather never have to do.

I get that. I have those projects too.

But I also know that it’s easy – so easy – to put off things that would make a difference. Things like routine maintenance, cleaning out the garage or trimming the trees. It’s just not very exciting to do those jobs.

And yet, you would do it for someone else if you were selling. So why not do it for yourself?

You are worth it.

What would you do if you were selling?

Most everyone finds it easier to do for others than for themselves. But the truth is when it comes to your house, you will feel best if you do it for yourself. And you never know when you might get an offer to buy your house popped in your mailbox by some admiring passerby.

So I invite you to look around your house and ask yourself, what would I be doing if I were going to sell this house?

Look inside and outside. Look in your storage areas. Look at your living areas and your private spaces.

What would you be doing to make it more attractive to a stranger?

And then do it.

Do it for yourself. Stop waiting to do it for someone else.

If it’s worth doing for someone else, it’s worth doing for you.

Look at you house with new eyes

It’s easy to stop seeing things in your own space. You get used to that pile by the door waiting to be returned or the stack of papers on the counter.

So if you want a fool-proof way to look at your house with fresh eyes … take a picture.

Even if you don’t read design magazines, you’re used to seeing other spaces in photographs … and totally unaccustomed to seeing your own space this way. Presto … instant change in perspective.

Give it a try. See if it helps you see things that have been hidden in plain sight.

And whatever you see, don’t despair. Remind yourself that you’re not actually selling your house … so there’s no emergency.

You’re just deciding that you’re worth making  the effort for.

So check out these most commonly overlooked areas – often a little attention here will make a big difference.

Visit your storage spaces

Basements, garages, closets and attics all seem to breed the most curious stuff when you aren’t looking.

And let’s be honest, home buyers go snooping around in places you would never show your friends.

So have a look in your storage areas and notice how you would feel about other people looking in there. What could you clear out? How could you tidy it up? Use those new eyes if you need to.

And don’t forget the cupboard over the fridge. How does all that stuff get up there?

Be on the lookout for things in need of fixing – or finishing

As you’re touring your house, see if there are repairs or maintenance to be done. Or projects that got started but not finished.

Make a plan to handle them.

At our house we have a day every month we devote to doing the stuff we’d rather ignore.

Doing it does in fact feel better than ignoring it.

Turn on your buyer radar when you come home

When living in a house, most people don’t think about creating curb appeal for themselves.

Why not?

The way you feel about your home begins outside. No one wants to come home to a messy or overgrown front yard. Or piles of yard waste by the garage.

It makes your heart sink rather than lift.

Don’t forget to snap a picture to get a whole new view on how welcoming your house looks. Then give yourself the gift of a lovely homecoming – try cleaning up and trimming in the yard, or washing your windows, doors and steps. 

See what you can do easily to spiff up the outside and enjoy coming home.

 

When you’ve been living in a house for a while, some places seem to fall by the wayside or escape notice until you think about calling a realtor. So today – instead of waiting to make your house nicer for some stranger – choose one thing you can do to make your home nicer for you. And do it.

 

Now it’s your turn

Are you going to take up the challenge of making even one change so your house is more attractive to you? I want to hear about it! Please leave a comment below about what you’re going to do.

I’d also love to know if this article opened your eyes to some things that had been hiding in plain sight.

Ready to make your house more attractive to you?

I’m interviewing women just like you about where they feel stuck creating a beautiful + functional home so I can develop my business to give you the support and guidance you want. In exchange for answering my questions – I’m offering a complimentary Design Vision Consultation.  Click here for more info or email me to say you’re in.

 

 

Last week, after writing to you about experts not having all the answers, I read Oprah’s story about getting rid of this bathtub in the March issue of O – and it enraged me.

Since March 2012 the media magnate has been clearing out and rebuilding her house to reflect this new phase of her life. And auctioning off her cast-offs for charity.

It’s exactly what I teach people do in their own homes. (Well, minus the giant charity auction.)

So what made me flip my lid?

It was how her design crew pushed her to get rid of her beloved bathtub.

So, impulsively (and partly out of sheer frustration), I said to the team with their clipboards and rulers, “Okay, take it out. That’s it. I’m done. I’m letting it go.” They cheered. I fled, trying not to cry.

I couldn’t believe it. I was appalled that her design pros would treat her that way.

No one has the right to force you to get rid of things. Especially not because they can’t find a way to make something you love work.

Here’s the thing:

Stuff isn’t just stuff

Everything you own has meaning tied up in it. Not in and of itself, but in what it means to you.

That’s why it can be so hard to let things go, even when it is time.

But no one should be bullied into getting rid of things. It’s painful, and ultimately it doesn’t work.

Almost everyone has been pushed into getting rid of something before they were ready, sometimes by a well-meaning friend or professional. But at other times, it was the tough-love part of themselves calling the shots.

And here I have a confession

I feel a bit sheepish writing these words knowing that I was once that well-meaning friend.

Many years ago a friend asked me to help clear out her clothes before moving to a new place. Since I was ruthless with my own clothes, it seemed to make sense.

But it turned out I was that person many of us think would be a good companion for clearing out. I was dispassionate about her stuff, about what looked good (and didn’t). And at the end of the day she had cleared out a ton of stuff.

But she was also scarred by the experience. She still brings it up sometimes.

Thankfully we’re still friends, and I have since learned how to actually support someone in releasing stuff.

That’s why Oprah’s story got such a reaction from me.

No one can tell you what to get rid of

No design professional – no matter how talented, expensive or well-known – has the right to push you into a decision about your stuff.

Yes, it’s freeing to let things go.

Yes, it’s often a necessary part of moving forward in life.

But it also needs to come in your own time, from your own heart.

Bullying – either by you or someone else – isn’t the answer.

Instead ask what fits you now

There’s no right or wrong answers about what you should let go of. It’s about being honest with yourself about how your stuff fits into your life right now.

Having a home you love is not about mistaking who you are for what you own.

It’s about making your life what you want it to be … by creating a home environment that supports you and the life you envision.

So here are three questions to help you move out the stuff that no longer has a place in that life.

Do I want to continue doing what this item is for?

Life changes, interests change.

Just because you used to use it doesn’t mean you need to keep it. I used to do a lot of things, but now I paint and I sew. If you’re done with it, pass along or sell it.

Open up space for the interests and activities you want to pursue now.

Keeping stuff can keep you stuck in a rut – whether it is old stuff or things you are currently using. So if you don’t want to keep doing something … get rid of the stuff.

Keep things that are current for the life you are creating.  

Do I still want the message this thing carries?

I said it before – stuff has meaning.

Everything in your home has a message it conveys to you – because of the story you have about it.

Oprah’s bathtub meant she had “truly made it” and it made her feel special. Now, I think we can all agree that she has made it and she is special, fancy tub or no fancy tub.

She doesn’t need to hold on to it … which is pretty much the point of her article.

But once you recognize that things in your environment subconsciously convey meaning to you … then you can choose more carefully the messages you are surrounding yourself with.

You want things in your home that make you feel good when you look at them or use them. Not because Madison Avenue said they make you special, but because they carry a personal message for you.

This is one of the main reasons I advocate creating your own home.

So decide what messages you want to keep around you – and toss the stuff that is telling you things you no longer want to hear.

Do I still love it?

And now the final arbitrator for all stuff – does it bring you joy?

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the things you use every day. Nothing at all. In fact, I encourage it.

Art has survived because human beings value beauty. We are compelled to create things and delighted to make them beautiful.

So choose wisely and the things you use day-to-day can be a source of pleasure in your life.

 

Oprah will get another tub – and hopefully she will love it – but no one should have pushed her into getting rid of it. What you chose to keep and what you chose to release is up to you.

It’s about tuning into what you want for your life and then letting go of the things that don’t fit anymore.

Now it’s your turn

So what do you want to get rid now? Does it help to consider how your stuff fits the life you most want for yourself? What messages do you want to surround yourself with?

Please do share – I really do want to know. Besides you never know when your thoughts will help someone else, so leave a comment below.

Do you want support for releasing your own stuff?

I’m interviewing women just like you about where they feel stuck creating a beautiful + functional home so I can develop my business to give you the support and guidance you want. In exchange for answering my questions – I’m offering a complimentary Design Vision Consultation.  Click here for more info or email me to say you’re in.